A while back, I was talking to the Innocent Man on the phone. He is now able to call the house and it doesn’t cost $30 a call. Yea, prison is expensive. I always thought that’s what our taxes were for, but I was wrong.
We were chatting and as always, he was concerned about me.
He’s concerned about my health, my kids, my homeschooling, my writing life. Every cog in my life is oiled with the faithfulness of his prayers.
Then, we got around to his life. Adjusting to prison. Adjusting to guards. Adjusting to having to have people on the outside provide his needs, because the prison provides almost nothing. He needed warm clothes because the fall weather made his cell chilly. He has to buy his own personal supplies. He has to pay for his own laundry at $.50 a load. Since he has no income, as prisoners don’t, it’s challenging. If he does get a job, he might make $.10 to $.30 an hour.
We talked about all the other struggles of adjusting to life on “the inside.” Above all, we talked about having to accept all these things as in the Lord’s sovereign design. We have talked much about God’s sovereignty since January 20, 2012, the day the Lord allowed this Innocent Man to be sentenced to eight years in prison. The day I can barely re-visit in my heart and mind, the pain is so great.
He spoke through his tears and a voice cracking with emotion. “But, Mindy, God is SO GOOD! Every day He is so good!”
I agreed and told him each day I have to “bow to a Will that is not my own.” I have to bow in worship and accept this plan because this is NOT my plan.
I can’t just worship and I can’t just accept.
Daily, I have to do both, or my faith will fail.
How about you?
Is there something in your life you are struggling to accept? Share your pain, we’ll share prayers.