This blog was inspired after reading my daughter’s blog, an honest reflection about the ways she’s like me and the ways she isn’t.
I realized we’ve been tugging on opposite sides of this struggle in life from the very beginning.
The best advice my Lamaze coach gave me when I was pregnant with my first child had nothing to do with labor, contractions or breathing.
It had to do with the appearance of our newborn children. She shared her story of expecting a petite, dark-haired little girl, a little miniature of herself. Instead, she had a chubby, red-headed little boy with freckles. She adored her little guy, but was in shock because he didn’t look anything like her or anybody else on either side of the family.
She warned us, “Have no expectations about what your child is going to look like.”
I have thought about this over and over – her wisdom has permeated many aspects of my life, whether she intended it to or not.
I learned to have no expectations.
From a young age, I learned she had her own ideas in life about the world around her. She didn’t see the world through my eyes, she saw it through her own.
It wasn’t wrong, it wasn’t rebellion, she wasn’t rejecting me.
She just wasn’t a little Mini-Me.
She didn’t follow my exact taste in clothes, decorating, or crafts. She didn’t like sewing. She didn’t like museums. She didn’t like camping.
As I learned to let go of my ideas on how things should look, should function and should be, I was blessed to see her own taste, confidence and faith develop.
This was a valuable lesson to learn, since she was the first of six children.
I am not raising children to be imitators of me, I am raising children who were knit together in my womb by the Heavenly Father, who created them with their own personalities, gifts and abilities.
If they are to imitate anybody completely, it should be the Lord Jesus. Our example is supposed to point them to Him.