Bowing to a Will not our Own

A while back,  I was talking to the Innocent Man on the phone.  He is now able to call the house and it doesn’t cost $30 a call.  Yea, prison is expensive. I always thought that’s what our taxes were for, but I was wrong.

We were chatting and as always, he was concerned about me.

He’s concerned about my health, my kids, my homeschooling, my writing life.  Every cog in my life is oiled with the faithfulness of his prayers.

Then, we got around to his life.  Adjusting to prison.  Adjusting to guards.  Adjusting to having to have people on the outside provide his needs, because the prison provides almost nothing. He needed warm clothes because the fall weather made his cell chilly. He has to buy his own personal supplies.  He has to pay for his own laundry at $.50 a load.  Since he has no income, as prisoners don’t, it’s challenging.  If he does get a job, he might make $.10 to $.30 an hour.

We talked about all the other struggles of adjusting to life on “the inside.”  Above all, we talked about having to accept all these things as in the Lord’s sovereign design.  We have talked much about God’s sovereignty since January 20, 2012, the day the Lord allowed this Innocent Man to be sentenced to eight years in prison. The day I can barely re-visit in my heart and mind, the pain is so great.

He spoke through his tears and a voice cracking with emotion.  “But, Mindy, God is SO GOOD!  Every day He is so good!” 

I agreed and told him each day I have to “bow to a Will that is not my own.”  I have to bow in worship and accept this plan because this is NOT my plan.

I can’t just worship and I can’t just accept. 

Daily, I have to do both, or my faith will fail.

How about you?


Is there something in your life you are struggling to accept?  Share your pain, we’ll share prayers.

6 thoughts on “Bowing to a Will not our Own

  1. Tandis

    This put a lump in my throat…. I continue to think of all involved in this and will pray that God comforts each one of them every day and gives them to strength to carry on. I think of the disciples singing in prison when they were wrongly put there and I think of the Innocent Man. He seems to be singing God’s praises and helping those on the outside understand the depths of His love. Praise the Lord.

    One question though… how do people in prison pay for things if they don’t have family connections on the outside to help financially or do it for them? I know the gangsters in prison have plenty of money but what about the good guys?

    1. Momma Mindy Post author

      Good question. That’s what I keep asking. They get something like $6 a month from the state. However, a sweatshirt is $12. They barter. You might give up a meal for a punch from someone’s laundry card. Because the IM has support from many believers, he is provided for, but hates having to ask. It just breaks my heart for the guys that don’t have anyone on the outside. This is why prison ministries are so good. People need real hope.

  2. Cindy

    The most important thing you can send is Bibles and all kinds of books for reading but those have to be sent from a store or like Amazon and it was such a wonderful gift they received and
    they love getting them. Also sending to their friends a Bible who need one it is the only gift many of them ever get. Prison ministry is such an important ministry and to pray for our prisoners.
    We will be surprised when we get to heaven how many prisoners there are there.

  3. Ruby

    Prisons in the US are much tougher than here. 😦 May God continue to comfort the IM and provide all his needs. Also that He gives strength, wisdom and grace to you all


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