I know this is the time of year when everybody is making resolutions.
They’re all convinced this will be a life changing year for them.
Everyone is sure they’re gunna’ end up
thinner, sexier, smarter, richer, more organized and nicer than last year.
We all know the truth.
Same ‘ol, same ‘ol.
SO, since I occasionally cave-in to peer pressure,
especially blogging peer pressure and
the “you have to build a platform to be a writer” pressure,
I decided to git me some of those
NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS.
1. I Resolve to Eat More
I know you might hate me already, if you resolved to eat less.
Sometimes, I skip breakfast.
I know, shame on me, right?
Wouldn’t let the kids get away with that.
Sometimes, I skip lunch.
I can see your lecture finger pointing at me already.
Sometimes, I skip breakfast and lunch.
Eating can be a waste of time, all that chewing and swallowing.
Remember, I’m the girl who wants the Wonka Gum
I will still always have chocolate hidden in my desk drawer,
but I will try to eat more meals,
or at least not skip two in the same day.
2. I Resolve to Cook More
I’m not really a foodie.
I like to go out to eat,
but I don’t drool in the afternoon about some delicious meal
I’m gunna’ concoct for dinner.
I don’t read cookbooks.
I only subscribe to two food blogs because they’re friends
There’s been plenty of good intentions,
but not a lot of follow-through.
As I say each year,
I’m gunna’ really try to cook some good food this year.
3. I Resolve to Shop More
I don’t like shopping, except at thrift stores and garage sales.
Grocery shopping is OK, but the rising prices are making me crazy.
But, clothes shopping? I despise it.
I guess those circus mirrors and bright lights in the dressing rooms
Sizes are smaller than they used to be and
fabrics are lighter than they used to be.
While waistlines and necklines go lower,
prices go higher.
I usually have only one good pair of jeans at a time,
and a few good shirts.
Ya’ know, the kind you actually want to wear in public?
While other women were dieting from shopping in 2010,
I made myself buy new clothes.
Those new clothes are no longer new.
I need to go a week in each season without doing laundry.
I hafta’ shop.
I just hafta’.
4. I Resolve to Drink More
Yea, I nag my kids all the time about drinking water,
like any good parent.
The lecture my Dad gave me is pretty much memorized,
but I have to adapt it a bit.
We grew up in Montana, so Dad would always add,
“We live in a place that’s almost a desert, ya’ know.”
Of course, Washington is more like the tropical rain forest
in a children’s museum, but we all still need to drink more water.
I don’t like to drink water ‘cuz then I have to tinkle.
I’m using that word because I have delicate sensibilities and so do you.
Going tinkle takes time.
It also takes toilet paper.
I don’t have a lot of both, living in this house with ten other people.
Ten other people who aren’t skilled enough to change the tp roll
So, ya’ happy now?
I resolved some resolutions.
Happy New Year!
I am truly blessed and humbled that you would
use your valuable time to ready my blog.
I am blessed and humbled that you would take time to comment.
I’m even more blessed and humbled that many of you,
strangers in physical life but bloggy friends,
have prayed and inspired me through one of the hardest years of my life.
All joking aside,
I truly love and appreciate all of you.
And may this be the way you find happiness in your new year:
“Happy is the man who finds wisdom,
And the man who gains understanding.”