Monthly Archives: October 2010

My Heart is Broken

I hate cancer.
I love, honor and serve my Savior,
the Lord Jesus Christ,
and understand and accept His plan,
but I hate cancer.
RivkA and I met through a mommy cancer blog,
and like many, I was drawn to her.
When she asked me to write for
I was excited and honored.
But, also sad.
Because of the seriousness of most of their cancers,
I knew the title of the blog was hopeful,
at best.
RivkA is no longer
a Mother Living with Cancer,
and my heart is broken.
She was loving, she was funny, she was serious, she was smart,
she loved her family and she loved people.
Every moment and ounce of strength she had that escaped
the enemy cancer
she used for others.
This morning on her blog, Coffee and Chemo,  I learned the
Jewish blessing said after hearing of  somone’s death.
Baruch Dayan HaEmet – Blessed is the True Judge.
It is appropriate for what I feel,
He is the True Judge.
I love Him,
I believe in Him,
I trust Him.
But, I hate cancer.

Baruch Dayan HaEmet – Blessed is the True Judge.

My heart is broken. 
We have lost our friend, our cheerleader, our advocate. 

Baruch Dayan HaEmet – Blessed is the True Judge.

This is the blessing said upon hearing the news of someone’s death.

About 11:10 AM this morning (Friday), RivkA passed away.

Funeral plans are in the process, and we’ll post them as soon as we know.

May RivkA’s family be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

Please daven (or send happy thoughts) for the memory of RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,RivkA’s family

Please leave a message for RivkA’s grieving family and friends on her blog.

Makin’ A List, Praying More Than Twice

The other day I blogged about a few small ways
my husband and I keep ourselves afflicted with
The same day,
a bloggy friend, Bevy,
also blogged about her husband.
(His name is also Scott,
so please don’t be confused.)
I appreciate her faith, her heart for the Lord,
and her adorable children.
But, she taught me something
I want to pass onto my daughters.
She shared how she
prayed her husband
 into her life.
I prayed, too, but I used
The List.
Ya’ know, the list teen-age girls hide in their Bibles?
The List
that contains all  the secret desires and qualities
they want in  the
Man of Their Prayers.
(Yea, we Christians pray, not dream.
Or, we’re supposed to, anyway.)
The List is clutched in young hands,
impatiently prayed through over and over,
as young girls long to be swept off their feet.
They usually start something like this
“must love the Lord
have Biblical convictions
play guitar
love kids
be good lookin’
It worked for me.
But, I like Bevy’s advice better.

“When I began really seeking the Lord about what sort of man I was desiring (for my future) as a spouse… these verses became sort of a bedrock – for my prayers.

I really believe the Lord answered those prayers… when he brought,my husband, Scott into my life.”

Read the rest here at her blog
:treasured up and pondered:

Then  have your daughters and single friends
pick out a passage of Scripture,
to put on the
The List.

Didja’ Ask?

For festive occasions,
I bought an adorable Wilton cupcake stand.
With my 40% off Michael’s coupon,
it was a great deal.
Everything looks better on this stand.
I think it even tastes better, too.
The food, not the stand.
It promised to make all my parties and occasions
more festive,
more fun,
more memorable.

Then, I lost a piece.
It was just a small metal rod with threads on each end.
If anybody in the house found it,
they would think it was garbage.
But, without the little rod,
my stand was useless.
I couldn’t throw it away,
and I didn’t want to buy another one.
After it sat  in my cupboard for months,
then I moved it to the kitchen counter,
where it slightly frustrated and annoyed me
everytime I saw it.
I couldn’t put it away,
but didn’t think I could deal with it.

It sat there so long,
I kinda’ forgot about it.

One day, I was wiping the counter around it,
and finally decided to write to Wilton.

I thought it might be cheaper to buy the new piece,
than a whole new cupcake stand.
They sent me a new one.
Very quickly.
For free.
It was so simple,
I wondered why I didn’t ask sooner.
One little email
and that nagging problem on the counter
was solved, restored and useful again.
We have other little problems in our lives.
Little things that bother us,
nag us out,
maybe even make us lose sleep.
Sometimes they are so deep, we are sure there is no solution.
So we let those problems sit and taunt us.
 James 4:2 teaches us
“you do not have because you do not ask.”

It is so simple.
Verse 6 tells us He will give what we need.
“But He gives more grace…”
This verse continues by giving a reason why we don’t ask.
“ …God resists the proud,
But gives grace to the humble.”
We’re too proud to ask for help when we need it?

Maybe we like pouting.
Maybe we think we can come up with our own solution.
Maybe we just forget.
Maybe the problem has been  there so long,
we just lose hope that it can be solved.

Maybe we like sitting useless on the counter,
with a missing piece,
so we can whine and fuss
about the missing piece.

Whenever the Lord has an
OUCH in the Scriptures,
where He has to speak the truth in love,
it is always followed up with His yearning for us
to come to Him
with our missing pieces.

James 4:7-10

Therefore submit to God.
Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.
Cleanse your hands, you sinners;
and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
Lament and mourn and weep!
Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.
Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord,
and He will lift you up.

what are you gunna’ ask for?

An Update from RivkA

Yea!  RivkA must be feeling better and the hallucinating must be gone,
if she is up for company. Momma Mindy

 A post should be up here later today, as dictated by RivkA.

Important: As opposed to yesterday (Sunday) — today friends are welcome to visit RivkA, for short visits.

Also, please be understanding that you may have to wait a bit to see her (depending on the number of people in her room).

Please understand that family conversations with RivkA will take priority over visitors.

RivkA’s looking forward to seeing you!

And she specifically told me last night, “tell people to check the blog for updates.”

On behalf of RivkA,


Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,RivkA

Touches of Love

When we were first married,
my husband and I determined to not get over
People often made rude comments and jeered
about “the honeymoon being over,”
as if
the love and joy would end
as soon as we unpacked from the honeymoon.
Even Christians occasionally gave us the idea
that the love would change so much,
it would never be as good as the honeymoon.

We decided we didn’t want that.
We wanted to prove them all wrong.
Our goal was to stay in love through the years.
That’s our mushy-gushy talk
for “I LOVE YOU.”
Since my first bout with cancer in 2005,
my husband has begun each day by waking me up
so I can take my thyroid hormone at the right time,
then he makes me coffee.
Even without the note,
that wafting coffee scent speaks of his love for me.
Leaving notes is only one of the ways
we keep from being cured from
We also give brief calls,
 drop a short email
instant message every day.
I say short because my husband is being paid to work,
not romance me.
But, it doesn’t take long to send love,
a laugh,
a greeting
or a word of appreciation
during the day.
It doesn’t take much,
to inflame that  touch of
And you know what?
People were right about the honeymoon being over.
It really isn’t the same as it was on the honeymoon.
Honeymoon love is great,
but married love is
and a more satisfying love.
What are some of the ways you and your spouse
keep love alive?

Doin’ One Thing At a Time

I have finally admitted something to myself.
I will always be busy.
I will never have a slow time.
Not just because the demands of life make me busy,
I want to be busy.
Even if I could finish everything on my list
I will just make another one,
or two or three.
I cannot sit still.
I do not want to sit still.
I love to do things
 with and for my family,
friends and other people.
Having a husband and  six kids,
 exercising hospitality,
attending Bible study,
I love it all.
When the list gets too overwhelming,
I don’t even write it down,
or try to hold myself to a schedule.
I conquer the daily  immediate demands,
then chisel at the extra stuff,
one thing
at a time.
one thing.
When I walk down the hall,
I grab
one thing
that needs to be put away in a bedroom.
If I have to go to the laundry room I take
one thing
from the railing that needs to be put away downstairs.
When I sit down at my desk,
I will go through a pile of papers,
and deal with just
one thing.
If Beka is busy with school,
I quickly mend or sew
one thing.
If I can narrow my focus to
one thing,
that thing will get done.
I can accomplish so much,
one thing
at a time.
You know who invented conquering the world
one thing
at a time?
It wasn’t Martha.
It was Mary.
I  can imagine Martha
 scratching lists  onto scrolls,
of all that had to be done because
 the Lord was going to dine at her home.
When I read the Lord’s gentle rebuke in Luke 10
I always cringe.
I really, really, really wanna be Mary,
but Martha is my twin separated at birth.
Mary did
one thing.
The only thing that really matters in a home.
Luke 10:39
 “Mary… sat at Jesus’feet
and heard His word.”
The Lord told Martha about the
one thing
that needed to be done.
Luke 10: 42
 “But one thing is needed,
 and Mary has chosen that good part,
which will not be taken away from her.”
I’m starting another busy week,
with a lot on my list,
but only
one thing
 that really needs to be done.
Linkin’ up!


Death Be Not Proud

Posted originally by RivkA 
Saturday, October 24, 2009
While we are waiting and praying,
longing to hear good news,
I wanted to repost a blog from a year ago.

You know, I am good. I mean, I have cancer and everything, but I am good.

Mostly, I feel good, and I do things, and I even work a bit.

Most of the time, I do not feel that cancer defines me.

But it does.

I am unquestionably in the cancer world.

Even taking chemo in pills (at home), I still have to go to the hospital several times a month — for doctor’s visits and blood tests (every 3 weeks) and my bone treatments (once a month).

But that is not all. No, no, that is not all.

I also have to go to the hospital for regular CTs, MRIs, bone scans, echocardiograms, ultrasounds, and whatever other tests or procedures are deemed necessary by my team of medical caregivers.

Everywhere I go, I meet other cancer patients.

Over time, many of the cancer patients get better and “disappear” back to their “old life,” the life without cancer.

But not everybody.

Some people, like me, are not going to get better. We meet regularly, week by week, month by month. We get to know each other. We get connected.

Many are like me. They are good. They are living with their cancer, and they are really living. Struggling, like me, but living. Even, I would say, living a good life.

But not everybody. Not all the time.

Sometimes people disappear and I do not know why. Have they simply switched treatment days or….? I am afraid to ask. Afraid to know.

It is hard. Hard to keep hearing about people dying of cancer.

Hard to keep my head buried in the sand, denying the threat of death, when death is all around me.

When I was first diagnosed, I stumbled onto the devastating statistics: five years after diagnosis, only 20% of women diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer are still alive.

I desperately needed to find other young women who were living with cancer for more than 10 years, to know they existed, to know it was possible, to believe that I could be one of them.

It was surprised (though I should not have been) that it was not easy to find these women.

I contacted Sharsheret, a support organization connecting young Jewish American women with breast cancer, who connected me with an amazing woman. Though extremely private about her cancer, she generously shared details of her challenges and accomplishments. She was still working, full time, as a professor in a university! She inspired me, and gave me hope. I spoke with her several times, until I found more local support via Beit Natan.

I just found out that, a year ago, she passed away suddenly, leaving behind 8 children. She battled cancer for around 10 years.

Her sudden death shocked those around her. But not me.

I have already learned: cancer is devious.

A cancer patient can seem fine one day, and the next day is critically ill. The situation can revert back to being stable or the patient can be dead within a few weeks. There is no way to know.

We never know.

Every death is devastating. Another reminder that living with cancer is uncertain.

Everything can change in an instant.

Please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel.

With love and optimism,


footnote: Death Be Not Proud, by John Donne (Link includes full poem and Wikipedia article)

MM Meditation – Keep Me From Falling!

Psalms 116:8
For You have delivered my soul from death,
My eyes from tears,
And my feet from falling.
Another excerpt  from F. B. Meyer’s
“Some Secrets of Christian Living.”

He is able to guard us from falling.  He can.  He will.  But we must trust Him.  Moment by moment we must look into His face, and say, “Hold me up, and I shall be safe; keep me as the apple of your eye, hide me under the shadow of your wings.”

He will never fail you nor forsake you.  He will give His angels charge to keep you in all your ways.  He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wing you shall trust.

At the moment of temptation do this.  Ask the Holy Spirit, whose office it is to bring all things to our remembrance, that He would remind you to look off to Jesus, when you are in danger.  Entrust yourself each morning into His hands. 

Look to Him to keep you looking.  Trust in Him to keep you trusting.  Do not look at your difficulties or weaknesses.  Do not keep thinking that you will some day fall again.

Go through life, whispering, saying, singing, a thousand times a day, Jesus saves me now.

A friend always took time at night to consider quietly, in the presence of God, where she had lost ground during the day, she never slept until she had asked to be forgiven and restored.

Jude 1:24
Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,

He is willing and He is able, but are we able to submit our will?

Thanksgiving in my Home and Heart

Remember the countdown to Thanksgiving?
I started at 216 days.
I’m down to  only 35 days.
There are only 35 more days until my MIL comes for Thanksgiving.
Actually, less than that.  She’s coming ahead of time.
I have a lot to do,
but I am trying to accomplish everything
I bought two of these charmers in a store so long ago,
I forgot when and where.
They have been patiently hanging on the wall, waiting to be used.
I printed out some vintage postcards from HubPages on cardstock.
I just copied (Control C)
and pasted (Control V)
each postcard from the site
on a new Word document.
When you right click on the pasted image,
a dialogue box pops up.
The second to last option, SIZE,
and can easily adjust the size.
If I can do it,
you can do it.
My handy-dandy paper cutter needed a new blade.
I had to trim fuzzies from all the edges.
Tucked in the postcards,
added a floral spray,
and I have one more thing accomplished.
And while I prepare my home for Thanksgiving,
I am preparing my heart, also.
If the home is decorated, but my heart is barren,
it will be in vain.
Psalms 69:30
I will praise the name of God with a song,
and will magnify him with thanksgiving.
Ya’ ready for Thanksgiving and to give thanksgiving?
There are  35 days left to prepare home and heart,

The DIY Show Off

Funky Junk's Saturday Nite Special

*****Wanna see what I did next?