I discovered this weekend that Ann Crittendon, author of The Price of Motherhood, put a price tag on motherhood – a million dollars.
That is the amount of money a stay at home mom (SAHM) will lose after only having one child by forfeiting a salary, stocks, retirement savings, pension and other benefits.
When I grew up there was a TV show called The Bionic Woman and she was the female version of The Six Million Dollar Man.
Since I have six kids, doesn’t that make me a Six Million Dollar Woman?
I was astounded at the cost sacrificed for my career choice, Motherhood, but had I known this 23 years ago when I gave birth to child #1, I wouldn’t have made the decision any differently.
I don’t stay home for financial reasons.
Although I home school and feel strongly about my children’s education, and some statistics show children of SAHMs do better in school and in testing, I don’t stay home for educational reasons.
I am a SAHM for two reasons. (follow link to previous post)
1. The Bible
Titus 2: 3-5
The aged women… teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
I cannot reason these verses away. As a young single woman, I felt strongly about obeying the Lord and being a keeper at home when He granted me children. Since the Bible doesn’t change, neither have my convictions.
2. I love my children and want to be with them.
I didn’t read any books about the benefits of being a SAHM. I don’t need to justify myself or prove my value to others.
I can give my own statistics.
I was there when all six of my children rolled over for the first time, crawled for the first time, sat up for the first time and walked for the first time. I cheered like a maniac, never tiring of watching their accomplishments in life.
I marked their language progress with joy and great amounts of over-exaggerated lip movements as I tried to help them form their words more correctly.
I wore great amounts of baby food, milk and juice while teaching my children how to eat and eventually feed themselves. If I wear food now, it’s slopped there with my own clumsy hands.
I was the one they wanted to tuck them in at night. I was the one who heard their secrets when they finally learned how to tell one.
All the firsts, except the naughty ones they got away with at the time, I WAS THERE.
I. was. there.
Yea, SAHMs may not always get a lot of adult interaction.
Yea, SAHMs may sometimes miss their career or wonder what they could have been had they stayed working.
Yea, SAHMs may sometimes be wiping up puke or washing the same dishes over and over and wonder why they went to college.
Yea, SAHMs may sometimes feel a little awkward about not having any of their “own” money to spend and/or a little guilty about not contributing to the bank account.
Yea, SAHMs may experience the typical frustrations, disappointments, shocks, trials and stresses that may make us doubt our value or our choice.
When I look in my kids’ eyes, the windows to their precious souls, I know these light trials cannot shake me off the path of obedience.
Yes, it WAS a million dollar decision to stay at home with my kids, because you couldn’t have paid me a million dollars to be away from them all day.
I value being a keeper at home because I value my children.
So, as I begin another new week, weak and weary from a trying year, I am thankful to remind myself why I am at home, as a SIX MILLION DOLLAR MOMMA.
54 “Now when the centurion, and they that were with him, watching Jesus, saw the earthquake, and those things that were done, they feared greatly, saying, Truly this was the Son of God.”
55 “And many women were there beholding afar off, which followed Jesus from Galilee, ministering unto him:”
56 “Among which was Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James and Joses, and the mother of Zebedee’s children.”
Searching the other Gospel accounts gives us a more detailed list of the other women that were among that faithful group at the Cross.
Mark 15:40, “There were also women looking on afar off: among whom was Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James the less and of Joses, and Salome.”
John 19:25, “Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene.”
Luke 24:10, “It was Mary Magdalene, and Joanna, and Mary the mother of James, and other women that were with them, which told these things unto the apostles.”
There is no record of the disciples at the crucifixion, some commentators think they weren’t even there. These faithful women were there and the Lord honored them by recording their names and their examples of ministry and worship for all of eternity.
They had ministered to the Lord, one anointed the Lord and wiped His feet with her hair, the highest act of worship recorded. They even brought the news of the Lord Jesus to the apostles.
We have great examples set before us.
These women believed and followed to the point of watching the final outplaying of their Savior’s life on earth. It was a bloody, gory sight, not fit for any human eye, and these women braved it all, beholding Jesus, the author and finisher of their faith.
Beholding is to view attentively, to perceive with the eyes, to enjoy the presence of one, to discern, to ascertain or find out by seeing.
How could they bear that sight?
How did they not faint in adversity?
How were they not emotionally destroyed the rest of their lives for the cruel, wicked scene they chose to behold?
They experienced the miraculous transformation that takes place when we all stand before the Cross, beholding Jesus, understanding it was for OUR sin that He bore the cross.
He took the stripes we deserve. He took the suffering that we deserved. He did it because of His great love for His Father and His desire to be obedient unto death. He did it because He loved the world and desired to make a way for us all to enjoy the fellowship with the Father that He enjoyed.
They could behold the suffering, because they basked in His love.
Are you a woman beholding?
Update from Dianne’s husband Pat
This week I was searching the web for information about life after breast cancer to better understand how I could help Dianne. I found an paper from the Journal of Clinical Oncology by Hester Hill Schnipper titled Life After Breast Cancer (and yes, this is the type of reading you do once cancer enters your life). The introduction to the paper really struck me as to what is going on in Dianne’s life, and mine, at this time:
SHRUGGING OFF her mink coat, Meredith Powers settled into the comfortable chair in my office. A 40-year-old single woman, she had completed her active treatment for stage II breast cancer 3 months earlier. Through the months of surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation, she had maintained most of her normal life routines and insisted that breast cancer was a disruption that could be managed. To her astonishment, she now found herself overwhelmed with emotions and unable to function. She called her medical oncologist when she could barely get out of bed in the morning and found herself weeping uncontrollably. As she explained that she had never before felt so out of control and that she was “baffled” by her feelings, she began to cry.
“Am I crazy?” she asked me.
As we began to talk, it was clear that she was struggling with many problems that were new to her and that were directly related to her diagnosis and treatment. She was exhausted and very frustrated with her diminished level of energy. She was angry with many of her friends and worried about being a burden to her family. She was unhappy with her body and the changes due to her cancer; she hated waiting for her hair to grow and felt “fat and ugly.” She worried about her performance at work and her limited options considering a career move. She wanted her old life back and was starting to understand that was impossible.
Beside not having a mink coat, and being married instead of single, much of this story describes what Dianne has been feeling since the end of active cancer treatment (December 08). The paper goes on to say:
The crisis of breast cancer does not abate with the final chemotherapy or radiation treatments. Indeed, in many ways, the real crisis is just beginning. How do you learn to live with the sword of Damocles ever dangling? How do you come to terms with the changes in your body as well as the changes in your perspective? How do you manage the changed relationships and the intense emotions that continue into the future? These are questions with which the patient will have to struggle, as life is slowly reclaimed. Recognizing that there are existential issues that must be examined by each of us in our own hearts, there are predictable problems in many other areas that can be addressed by caregivers…The challenges of survivorship are many. More than anything else, it is the searing recognition of mortality that changes everything. From this moment forward, all of life will be viewed through a double lens as we appreciate the possibilities of both a long life and a greatly abbreviated one. This dual view may actually, over time, enrich our lives. We make a conscious and willing choice, each of us living with cancer, to go on, to take and to appreciate the darkness as well as the sunlight. We hold dear the night as well as the morning.
This is how Dianne is doing. This is how we are doing. If you want to learn more about life after breast cancer, you can read the full article at:
Please continue to pray for our family, the battle is not over.
I have been trying to study the two judgments and the two resurrections to try to piece together the different sequence of events that lies ahead for believers and non-believers.
John 5:28-29,”…all who are in the graves will hear His voice and come forth—those who have done good, to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil, to the resurrection of condemnation.”
We know from the first chapters of John that good deeds are only committed through saving faith in Jesus Christ. Those who have done evil have rejected the Way of salvation.
It was amazing to realize how the resurrection was such a part of the Gospel talk of the early church.
Martha understood the resurrection long before she saw her brother rise from the dead.
John 11:24, “Martha said to Him (Jesus), “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”
I really got thinking about the bodily resurrection. So, if I am already dead, my body will rise from the grave at the time of the Rapture.
1 Thessalonians 4:16, “For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first.”
Of course, if I’m alive, I get to go alive.
I Thessalonians 4:17, “Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord.”
At one point, we change these bodies in for new ones.
Philippians 3:20-21, “For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body…”
So, the big question is, does that mean our entire body? Or just what’s left of our body at the time of the Rapture?
What about my thyroid that was removed because of cancer? It that little thingy going to fly through the air and meet up with the rest of the body for the big Trade-in?
Does my thyroid know which body to join?
Is there like a homing device?
It looks like a butterfly, maybe it can fly.
Or, do all those removed and incinerated body parts just stay in the trash heaps of the world while our fragmented bodies join in the heavenly festivities?
I got the giggles imaging all these different removed organs and limbs flying through the air, in a twinkling of an eye, matching up with the bodies they were removed due to severe illnesses, cancers and accidents.
Wow, to be whole again, even if only for a bajillionth of a second, then get to trade-in on a new, sinless, heavenly body. Amazing!
But, regardless of whether we meet up with missing body parts on the way to the heavenly glories, this much is true and doesn’t need to be laughed about-
-we born-again believers will see Jesus,
and when we see Him,
we shall all be changed.
1 John 3:2, “Beloved, now we are children of God…but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.”
It won’t matter if I am missing a major organ.
In that second, because of His grace, I will be completely whole, completely His and completely fit to be in the presence of the One whose hands bear the marks of His dying love for me.
Praise the Lord!