Kids Who Serve are Winners not Whiners

 

A kid’s definition of summer is “the season  where I sleep in and don’t have any schoolwork.”

A mom’s definition of summer is “the season where the kids hang around the house whining because there’s nothing to do.”

The lack of structure quickly loses its thrill after a week or two, and moms begin hearing the fingernails-on-chalkboard whine, “Mom, I’m bored!”   This complaint ranked on my list of five “Things That Aren’t Music to a Mommy’s Ears.”

For years I battled  boredom by making my kids write a Summer List of exciting things they could do instead of complaining. They could put anything on their list -  foods to eat, activities to do, places to go or crafts to make.  (Click on the link to see the now-vintage lists.)

My goal was to teach my children to replace the word “bored” with “busy” by becoming self-entertaining and creative.

Focus on the Family recently revealed their Adventures in Odyssey summer challenge for kids, but it challenged my heart as a parent.  Instead of focusing on WHAT, they want kids to think about  WHO. They’re defining summer as “the season where you spend time serving others for Jesus.”

Even though I’ve been parenting 26 years, I mentally did the “DUH” forehead slap.

Parents are rarely bored, because our hands and hearts are busy serving. We fill our days and nights helping others  be happy, healthy and encouraged.

If we honestly define boredom, it’s a form of  selfishness.  You can’t think of anything to satisfy or gratify yourself.  A quick cure is to turn your attention to others.  It isn’t  enough to teach our kids to entertain themselves, we need to teach them to see and meet needs in others.

The familiar friends from Adventures in Odyssey want to spend the summer with our kids challenging them to serve through a program called

A – A

C – Call

T – To

S – Service

The theme is , “When you serve, everybody wins.”  Kids to show and grow in their faith in Christ by using their talents and skills to serve  their families,  communities, and the world.

1. Your child commits to record 12 hours of service on the Path to Service form. Pick up form at your local Family Christian Bookstore or download here. (Participating bookstores provide Adventures in Odyssey character stickers for each hour served.)

Put it in a place you won’t lose it or forget where you put it.  I know, that can be challenging, especially if there’s a dog, small children, or  forgetful older mothers….now what was I saying?

2. Download and listen to this special Adventures in Odyssey episode “Lost & Found.” It will get your kids revved up to serve.

It will also give you twenty minutes to sneak off by yourself and have your devotions, drink a cup of coffee and sneak chocolate from your secret Mommy Stash. (I know you have one!)   Remember to gargle before the AIO episode is over.  Kids always smell chocolate on your breath and then your stash won’t be a secret anymore.

If you need a few more minutes alone, or your kids need  more explanation, watch Bob and Jesse explain the program on this podcast.

 

3. Visit the AIO website to print off a page of Weekly Service Ideas to spark ideas. Have your kid add their own ideas based on their skills and interests. Serving in areas of giftedness makes it a blessing, not a chore.

Make room for the list on the fridge, after you throw away those expired coupons and the three week old grocery list that you forgot to take to the store. Use two magnets so it doesn’t slide down and under the fridge to live  with the dust bunnies and your missing spatula.

Oh, yea, now I remember what I was saying, you can put the Path to Service on the fridge, too.

4.  Join Connie (acted by Katie Leigh ) and Chris (Chris Leigh) at the May 22nd  Launch Party!  It’s through the computer, of course, so you’ll have to provide your own snacks and party hats while you watch the webcast.

5. This is more than a challenge, it’s a contest. From June 1 – August 16, your kids can make a two minute video telling about their service and why they want to be one of the first Adventures in Odyssey Ambassadors.

Many participating stores are hosting special recording events, and kids who record their video in stores will receive an AIO prize. Complete rules and prizes listed here.

The cool news is that the top girl and guy winner will go on  an all-expense paid Good-Goers Adventure-Based Mission Trip with a parent to serve orphans and enjoy a day of rafting in an overseas location. The May 22nd webcast will also reveal the top-secret location, so tune in!

The 100 third place kids win a one-year subscription to the Odyssey Adventure Club.
The 24 second place kids win a subscription and  a phone call from an Adventures in Odyssey cast member.

I was thrilled to talk to Jesse Florea at the Northwest Christian Writers Renewal May 17-18 this past weekend.  He’s the editor of the Focus on the Family Publications Clubhouse and Clubhouse Junior and one of the inspired leaders for the A.C.T.S. program.

He previously stated his heart’s plan for this program. "We want to remind kids that they have a part to play in God’s story, and serving is an easy way for everyone to take part in that, “The challenge is a fun way for kids to learn about serving, but the end goal is that kids will deepen their walk with Jesus Christ through serving Him.”

This is the real win in the challenge, not the awesome prizes. Many lives could be touched if our kids learn to say,  “How can I serve?” instead of,  “I’m bored!” 

This is an amazing challenge for our kids’ Summer Lists, doncha’ think? I’m game to bust summer boredom and turn whining in winning through service.

I’d love to hear if you will join our family in turning our summer into an adventure in service.

 

 

 

Free Cool Tool Evaluates Head-Popping Headlines

This writing is hard stuff.

I  spent so much time writing a headline for this blog about writing a headline, that I was running out of ambition to write the blog post on a great headline, because I was trying to write a great headline for the blog about a great headline.

Today I’m introducing a Cool Tool from Advanced Marketing Institute,  a HEADLINE ANALYZER.  You just pop over to their website and use it any time you want.

Remember my tools are not only cool, they’re free and easy to use?

If you can type, you can use this tool. It evaluates the Emotional Marketing Value of your headlines, based on three impact groups, Intellectual, Empathetic and Spiritual.  You really want to click on that name and read their stuff.   They have software to evaluate how deeply your headline draws into reader’s emotions and they use big words like algorithm and harmonics.

In Mindy words, the deeper you go into their emotions with your headline, the more they’ll read and  the more they’ll come back.  Headlines with a high EMV gather and keep readers by inspiring them to action.

You have 20 words or less to accomplish this.

When I first started blogging, I  slapped titles on.  I worked for a county newspaper early in my writing life, so it was about facts. When I tried to be creative and funny, I realized that later on, I didn’t even know what a post was about by the headline.

A statistic from a professional blogger, that I can’t find now, of course, showed he spends more time writing his headline than his blog post.

I wasn’t convinced until I caught myself skimming through the reader of Blogs I Follow awhile back.  I  judged each blog by the headline, not the content.  I wouldn’t even read the first paragraph if I didn’t think the headline proved it would be worth my time. Hey, I’m busy, like the rest of you. 

Our headlines need to convince people to relax, grab a cup of coffee, and read what we have to say.

Let’s evaluate the EMV of the headlines from my  top three posts with this Cool Tool.

1.  “When Gramma Lost Her Marbles” had 1,556 hits in one day, almost 2,000 to date.

Low headline score, high statistical ranking.  Why?  I was featured the  Alzheimer’s  Team Facebook Page, and it received 565 Likes and has been shared 158 times across the world to different Alzheimer’s and dementia support groups.

I wonder how many MORE would have read my post if I’d had the word ALZHEIMER’S in the title?

2.  “I’ve Eaten Rattlesnake” was the post  WordPress featured in  Freshly Pressed.

Apparently, the software doesn’t  like contractions.  It came up blank until I spelled it out.  What – is this site run by a librarian or an English teacher?  Sheesh.

Definitely more emotions evoked when I let everyone know the rattlesnake was first a pet, not a predator.

3.  At the Ann Frank house in Amsterdam, I emotionally experienced the life and death  of “The World’s Most Famous Teenager.”

Again, a lot of hits, but low evaluation for the headline.

Different words will draw different people in for different reasons.  You need to tell as much of the story as you can in a few powerful words.

Back to my headline dilemma…I needed to write a great headline to prove I have the ability to score high with my EMV.

 

Oops, got worse before I got better.

Ranked lower again.  Can’t go downhill!
Also a grammar error.  Didja’ see that?

The Cool Tool didn’t see I made another error. 
One last try.  I’m tired.

(When I added the word “free”  to the above headline
the rank rose to 85.71%)

 

Which headline do you like better?

“Cool Tool Evaluates Head-Popping Headlines”

or

“Free Cool Tool to Evaluate Emotional Marketing Value of Headlines”

It’s time you learned

“How to Write Head-Popping Headlines”

“Make Sure Your Headlines Will Pop Heads”

“Cool Tool Makes Headlines More Marketable”

“Free Cool Tool to Evaluate Emotional Marketing Value of Headlines.”

 

Why I Had Kids Not Dogs

When I moved to the Seattle area, my youngest of six was an adorable toddler with dandelion fluff hair.

I expected the typical comments about her age, cuteness and overall awesomeness when I took her out in public. After all, she was the top student in the Gifted and Talented Pre-school Program in my Homeschool. I thought talent scouts would be stopping me left and right for modeling contracts.  I was in the big city, now, ya’ know.

Nothing.

Nada.

Zilch.

Never.

I realized  people weren’t as fond of children as they were in the Midwest. I realized people were very fond of dogs. 

• Seattle has more ">">dog treat bakeries per capita than any other US city.
• Seattle has 45% more dogs than children.
• Seattle has 11 dog parks.

But it wasn’t until I dog-sat for a neighbor that I saw how deep dog-love runs in the blood of my PNW neighbors. Otis is a nice dog, well-behaved and well-trained, but poor guy is past his bloom.  Slightly overweight in the middle, he waddles and has more gray hair than I do.  He’s a mutt without papers or pedigree, isn’t too big or too small, doesn’t have  long hair or short hair, has no distinct color or markings, he’s the perfect family dog. 

When I took my adorable toddler and the dog for a walk, dog- lovers stopped many times to pet Otis and talk to him in their doggy voice. One lady even let Otis lick her face. I was almost worried about her dog-napping, she was so enthralled with his gray-bearded face and rheumy eyes. When you aren’t dog-crazy, watching someone sweet-talk a dog is like watching an engaged couple when you aren’t in love. 

As I looked from my adorable white-haired child to this middle-aged dog, to me there was no contest who deserved attention.

It wasn’t the dog.

I felt I had to justify why in the world Seattle I had children, let alone six of them, so began this list in my self-defense.  I’m not opposed to dogs, I just decided if I was going to have anything else in my house with disgusting body fluids, it might as well be someone who could visit me in the nursing home.

 

Why I Had KIDS not DOGS

 

• My kids  don’t lick friends or strangers.

• My kids  don’t  introduce themselves to a stranger by smelling them, especially in embarrassing places. (One toddler accidentally punched someone somewhere embarrassing, but with no witnesses, was it really that embarrassing?)

• My kids don’t pee on the neighbors’ car tires. (One peed in someone’s front lawn at a garage sale while I was busy hunting for treasures. I almost died of mortification, but lived to blog about it.)

• My kids don’t poop in my yard, the neighbor’s yard, on the carpeting or anywhere else in the house. (I guess one pooped on my sidewalk once, but only once.)

• My kids don’t bark during the night and wake the neighbors up. (My yelling at the kids during the daytime has been heard a few times, but I can assure you, my kids have never caused the neighbors to lose sleep. Well, at least when I was home.)
  
• My kids haven’t thrown-up in the neighbors yard, then gone back to eat it the next day. (EEWWW!  I still am traumatized by this childhood spectacle by the neighbor’s dog, Goldie.  You wonder why I don’t have a dog?)

• My kids don’t rub their bare bums on my carpet.

• My kids don’t pee on my flowers or leave little round circles of dead grass in my lawn. (I think there were a few peeing incidents during poddy training, ya’ know, little boys naturally think a tree is a toilet. But, the trees are fine, thanks for asking.  That’s another thing PNW’ers love.)
  
• My kids don’t lick my face after drinking out of the toilet. (They’ve all played in the toilet, and I’m pretty sure several drank out of the toilet, but they didn’t lick me afterwards.)

The list is a little graphic, but true.  And after I’ve convinced myself I’ve done the right thing in having children, not dogs, I remind myself of the great future I expect with my six, lovely children.

• My kids will visit me in the nursing home.
  
• My kids will bury me.
  
• My kids will push my wheelchair.
  
• My kids will give me more grandchildren.
  
• My kids will sell my treasures at a garage sale when I’m dead.
  
• My kids will change my diapers.
• My kids will all get dogs of their own.

Not necessarily in that order.

And if any of my kids actually read what I expect from them, they may be writing their own blog post.

“Why I Traded in My Parents for Dogs.”

When God Created Mothers

As a pre-teen, I loved Erma Bombeck.  I loved how she laughed through all the stupid things her kids did, because at that age, I was doing those stupid things.  With my  babysitting money, I bought my mom the entire series for Christmas.  They were housed in a wonderful cardboard home, and I knew it would be the perfect encouragement for my mom to live through raising her six precious children.

 

Years later, as a mother of my own six children, I clung to Erma’s words for a different reason. She taught me to laugh when I wanted to cry. She proved you could successfully parent without hurting any of your children.

And underneath her humor she admitted a truth most wouldn’t: parenting is the hardest job you’ll ever have.

 

Erma Bombeck’s

Mother’s Day column,

May 12, 1974.

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into his sixth day of“overtime” when an angel appeared and said, “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.”

And the Lord said, “Have you read the specs on this order?

• She has to be completely washable, but not plastic;
• Have 180 movable parts… all replaceable;
• Run on black coffee and leftovers;
• Have a lap that disappears when she stands up;
• A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair;
• And six pairs of hands.”

The angel shook her head slowly and said, “Six pairs of hands… no way.”

“It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” said the Lord. “It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.”

“That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel.

The Lord nodded. “One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks,’What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, ’I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word.”

“Lord,” said the angel, touching His sleeve gently, “Go to bed. Tomorrow…”

“I can’t,” said the Lord, “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick… can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger… and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower.”

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,”she sighed.

“But she’s tough!” said the Lord excitedly. “You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure.”

“Can it think?”

“Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. “There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told You You were trying to push too much into this model.”

“It’s not a leak,” said the Lord. “It’s a tear.”

“What’s it for?”

“It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.”

“You are a genius,” said the angel.

The Lord looked somber. “I didn’t put it there,” He said.

Ten Things Procrastination is Telling You

It was easy for Thomas Jefferson to say, “Never put off ‘till tomorrow what you can do today" because he had a staff of accomplished servants.  He could invent, write and entertain while others washed and ironed his clothes, made his dinner, cleaned his house and tended his estate.

At least that’s the excuse I tell  myself when my To Do List screams at me to have something crossed off. Procrastination was supposed to go away when I left college and outgrew all-night study fests, but he has appeared in various forms for decades.

As a Type A person, I know there’s nothing better than the feeling of crossing the last item off my To Do List. If it weren’t for procrastination, I would be elated all the time.  He not only keeps me from my goals, he nags like a dripping faucet. He tells me there is always…

tomorrow…

          tomorrow…

                    tomorrow…

 

Procrastination tells us what our brain hasn’t quite grasped and our friends and family don’t dare say, to our face, anyway.

 

WHAT  PROCRASTINATION TELLS US:

1.  You  don’t like what you’re doing.

There are things we HAVE to do. Make the job more pleasant.  I’m not fond of cleaning the toilet, so I put cleaning wipes, toilet bowl cleaner, paper towels and a toilet bowl brush in every bathroom.  Quick, easy, almost painless.

There are things we volunteered to do that we shouldn’t have.  That’s what nice people do, they say “yes” too often.  Say “no.”  Practice with me.  “No.”  See, that wasn’t hard. We budget our money, but squander our time and talents.  Guard all these treasures equally.

 

2.  You’re not skilled enough to do the task well.

Either carve out time to learn the skills, or ask for help.  I have found that volunteering to babysit for young moms gives me a variety of talent at my disposal.  Barter or get better.

3.  You’re crippled by fear. 

Fear of failure and fear of success have the same end result.

 What motivates you to accomplish goals?  Consider dangling your own carrot and/or finding someone to cheer you on.  Share your goals with someone who would appreciate them. 

4.  You didn’t manage your time successfully.

A project that demands more time will be put off until there is a time slot for the entire project.

Only a horse eats an apple all in one bite, or is that only in the cartoons?  A great help is to break a project into 15-30 minute increments.  Use a timer.

5.  You didn’t prioritize correctly.

We tend to prioritize according to what we like to do, what’s easiest to do or what is cheapest to do, instead of by project deadline. Write down your goals and projects as short tem and long term.  It makes it easier to decide what needs to be conquered next.

6.  You haven’t made enough time for creativity. 

When we get busy, it’s easy to push aside the things that delight and calm our heart. Sewing, crafting, woodworking, reading, writing, are readily shoved  aside to accomplish the necessary life demands. Creativity spurs up ambition.  It  makes you finish the icky have-to projects faster to do the fun want-to projects.

7.  You’re not caring for yourself properly. 

Being tired, dehydrated, malnourished and under exercised can make you not want to do anything at all.  I freely pass on this advice  as I sit at my desk looking at the sunshine through my dirty window, drinking coffee, skipping breakfast and having absolutely no plans to exercise in the near future. But to soothe my conscience I just drank a sip of water.  Put your needs first.

8.  You’re waiting for inspiration.

Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn’t.  We accomplish goals through  inspiration or determination.  When one isn’t working, summon up the other.

9.  You have people that need you constantly.

In our marriage we’ve had 6 kids, a lot of company and many people live with us. Your time is not your own when you serve others.  You can prioritize and organize, but a diaper blow-out, a nightmare or a spilled gallon of milk changes everything.

As we age, we may end up caring for our parents or a spouse because of age and/or infirmity. The tasks are combined with the grief of their condition.

People are priority.  This is your ministry and your calling for this season.  Live through this time in a way that you’ll have no regrets looking back.

10.  You’re sidetracked by human emotion or physical pain.

Suffering and grief can stop you in your tracks.  In this case, procrastination is the kind friend saying you need to heal.  It’s healthy to mark boundaries with your time and commitment.  Take time off and explain to others why you’re doing this. People will respect your boundaries, and may even step up to help.

You have gifts, talents and goals to bless the world.

Listen to procrastination and decide if  and when you should rest,  refuse, reassign or accomplish.

Just don’t put it off until tomorrow. Do it today.

 

Keeping Face on Your Facebook Page

 

 

In the olden days, a snake oil salesmen  would stand on a homemade wooden platform in the town center, gather a crowd,  and pitch his product. If the product worked, the townspeople would let the guy hang around. If it didn’t work, he took his platform, his product, the people’s money, and ran to the next town.

Today, writers and entrepreneurs still stand on a platform, gather a crowd and pitch their product. But, the platform isn’t made of wood, it’s built of the material of today’s universe, social media.

A Facebook Page is a good place to start to draw traffic to your website/blog and eventually to your product. But posts get lost in the algorithm of Facebook, and NO I am not paying Facebook to show my post to all the people who already LIKED me and obviously wanted to read every single word I write…..or at least every other word.

Have you ever clicked on the Boost Post button? 

 

This is what you get. It will be great when you have something ready for market, like a published a book or a new Etsy store, but for everyday platform building, Facebook  provides a free Cool Tool to draw consistent traffic to your page, the ability to schedule posts. We all know Facebook is addicting,  give people consistent content worth the addiction.

My goal is to post at least twice daily on my Facebook Author Page. On days I  blog, the posts usually relate to the content theme. On days I don’t blog,  I provide information or encouragement for other writers.

Like all my Cool Tools, scheduling posts is free and easy to use. Yes, I know  Facebook started this a year ago, but at my age, it’s hard to see the Bandwagon, let alone jump on it right away.

Once you drop your text in the box, a little clock pops up.  See the bunny nose?

Yes, I used Snipping Tool, how could you tell?  Oh, because you read my tutorial and now the online scissors all the time?

Working from left to right, you use the drop down boxes to set day and time, then click Schedule.

Done.

You can view your Activity Log in case you forgot what you scheduled or wanted to make sure you did it correctly.

Advantages to scheduling Facebook posts:

• Can post up to 6 months ahead of time.
• Facebook uses your current time zone, so you don’t have to remember that elementary school lesson.
• You have a consistent FB presence even if your life is inconsistent.
• Increases organization and intention in your writing/business life.
• You can sleep in instead of being on Facebook early in the morning.

Of course, keeping with the whole scheduling idea, tomorrow on my Author Page,  I’m posting two great articles about Facebook by smart people.

Feel free to drop by and and read more about building your platform using Facebook.

Just don’t try to sell any of my LIKERS any snake oil, OK?

Things That Aren’t Music to a Mommy’s Ears

The moment you become a mother, your hearing enhances.  It has to. Since we don’t have periscope eyes that can see around corners, or Superman’s X-ray vision,  the ears make up for what the eyes can’t see.  A mother’s hearing will become so acute, she’ll hear the slightest whimper in the middle of the night, or the bum rumble that indicates a diaper needs to be changed before the crying even begins. As the child gets older, she’ll be able to tell by the creak of the hinge which cupboard a child is in, or by the crinkle of a package which food the child is getting into.

Although having nearly bionic ears can be a mother’s asset, there are words that bounce through the inner ear canal and make a grown woman tremble in her scuffed up slippers.

1.  “OOPS!”

What you just warned your child about in the last five minutes just came true. The kids will think you can see through walls, but your warnings are actually  prophecies. You can foresee what will happen because parents just know these things. Kids never believe that setting their milk cup near the edge of the table will increase their chance of spilling it.  They will think you are wrong until they’re a parent wiping up milk.

By the way, the louder the child says this word, the longer it will take you to clean it up.

2.  THE SOUND OF BREAKING GLASS.

The more you cherish an item, the longer you’ve owned it, or the harder it is to replace it,  the more likely it will be broken. If it’s easily replaced or something you found for a quarter at a garage sale, it will be with you until the kids leave home. 

 

In that case, they can take it all that cheap stuff with them when they move out and you can replace all the stuff they broke.

3.  “I’M TELLING MOM!”

The kid who’s yelling doesn’t think that what they did to start the fight is as bad as what the other kid did in retaliation.

If the chant is done in a sing-songy voice, it indicates that the child is happy to get the other one in trouble and the damage is minimal. 

If the tone is childishly ferocious, the altercation could have become physical.  There was some pinching, biting, scratching, shoving, slapping or punching done.  However, a child is slow to confess unless the parent has correctly described the altercation with the correct verb.  Feel free to ask about every type of action you can even think of because if you asked if they pushed, when they think they shoved, they will feel the freedom to say no.

4. “I’M BORED.”

In my house this is always followed by one of two parenting tidbits of wisdom.  “Only boring people get bored” or “Then go clean my toilet.”

Any one of my children had more toys than all their grandparents put together had in a lifetime, so there is no reason to be bored.  Plus, they always had arts and crafts supplies available, stacks of games, lots of siblings, a gajillion books and use of the sewing machine and kitchen.

They might also get a lecture on being thankful, being a servant, finding something to do, being constructive or the joyous life a freedom a child has.  Sometimes for good measure, you can throw in a lecture on how much work you had to do as a child.  Rotate the lectures so they don’t get bored.

 

5.  SILENCE.

This is the worst noise of all.  You have to learn to listen for this noise above all noises.  It means that someone has done something unusual, something you hadn’t suspected, something out of character and something creatively, geniusly, hilariously dangerous or disastrous. 

In the case of silence, move quickly to the quietest room of the house with camera in hand.  Ensure child’s safety, then take pics.  There’s always time to clean up – later.

When your kids are teens, you will need all the bribery and blog fodder you can use.